My mum's MRI scan results are bad and she won't say what it is. What's stressing me out is not knowing what I have to prepare for.

I met a 40yr old man off the internet and he has gone off the rails now, was talking about finding, raping and killing me to people in Telegram, also that he wants to love and wife me. When we met he tried to find out where I live.

My email was  hacked last week right after gaining membership to a hackerspace. I don't know if it was someone from there that hacked me, the pedo seeking revenge or the creep that's trying to find out where I live. As a result someone knows where I live now and if they were looking for it they also have my identity, so I have to worry about someone showing up at my house and loans being taken out in my name. I also feel reluctant to go to the hackerspace because I don't know if someone there is okay with violating my boundaries.

Someone has been sending me creepy messages and won't say who they are. They made a post about giving me a lobotomy so my only purpose would be for sex and looking pretty. 

Quite a few creepy men are talking about raping me, they actually want it to happen and were encouraging the 40yr old man to go through with his plans to prove he belongs to the community. I want to leave the community but don't know where I will fit in.

Chronic fatigue is affecting my mental health. I have no energy to go outside but need to for my mental health. It's affecting my productivity and that makes me depressed for never meeting my targets. 

The rise of the far-right, Elon Musk, Project 2025 and Andrew Tate make me worried for the future and that it will change things where I live, so much so that I've decided to get my tubes tied and can't trust any men.

I've decided to start streaming which is scary to me because going viral has always been my worst nightmare and I believe people with low EQ should stay in hiding. But if I have a knack for gaining attention I should at least try to make money off it and it appeals to me to find people who actually like me. I also want to gain influence to better challenge people like Musk and Tate. Evri was supposed to deliver a desk for my home office today but didn't and that distressed me more than it should have.

My sister's boyfriend was talking about being sexually attracted to me, that he believes the earth is flat and that the moon-landing didn't happen. I don't know my sister too well but her and her boyfriend will be my closest relatives if my mum dies and I don't trust them.

I'm constantly concerned with my appearance and am trying to lose weight atm. I've joined a Whatsapp pro-ana group. I need to get my nipples pierced again and am scared because I fainted last time and don't know if it will be a male or female doing it. 

It's about time I started looking for a husband if I ever want one. The only person I have in mind is my coke dealer because he's the only guy that's been decent to me the past few years and there's nothing I dislike about him. He lives in a scary world though. I've never taken black dick before either so am scared of that. I have a flight booked to London on the 28th so will see him then.

My heart isn't good, I have to take research chemicals to get anything done because of fatigue and I feel like I'll keel over any day.

I'm juggling a lot. I don't know if the right route is to continue education, work on my data analysis portfolio or become a streamer.  The data analysis portfolio involves upskilling so I've been learning programming as well. So I have to make time for this, housework, exercise and hypnotherapy.