Sophie abandoned me, Lav is stalking me, I left Mik now I'm isolated. I'm especially creeped out because of Lav and don't know what she'll do next or how long it will go on for but it grosses me out even writing about her here so I probably won't talk about it in future. 

I've been listening to hypnosis to get over a crush because I have to forget him. I hate doing this because it's sad to have to let feelings of love die when they can make life brighter, but it's hurting and not in my best interest to feel this way. I've just been working constantly and it may be a psychological hazard. My first thought this morning was that I have to save myself. I'm still planning to get fucked up in London and go to Meltdown. I'm depressed and shutting down. I've made up my mind to get more dermal fillers. I can't identify anything specifically wrong with my face but I'm still reluctant to go on cam. It's almost 6am now, I'm going to go to the shop for food then do a few more German lessons.