Wednesday, March 12, 2025
Day 7
I completed the prescribed repetitions of some hypnosis tracks so I didn't have to listen to as many today, only 9. I woke up at 1pm and did some cleaning. All I ate was a raw egg. After cleaning I read my physics notes which I found oddly soothing; Maybe it was my lulzy handwriting that gave me a dopamine rush or how familiar I am with the content so its almost a bedtime story. After this I listened to hypnosis and only cried a bit. I don't remember much else, only doing my skincare, putting on a load of washing then reading the physics notes again. Now I am winding down for bed and am wearing nipple clamps because I feel numb. If I still feel numb tomorrow I will give myself electric shocks. I discovered that there's a possibility for me to make history just because of where I live, but can't say what it is. How I feel physically is like I'm floating.
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Day Five
I don't know what day I finished reading Notice. The author killed herself and the ending described why, that surviving isn't healin...
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Yesterday I did my skincare, house chores and listened to hypnosis, that's all. Today I got a tooth filling, thought I would have a hear...
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I don't know if I'm dissociating or suffocating. I've been struggling to breathe all day, have to remind myself to exhale and ca...
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Not really present. Not okay or happy.
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